Me: I'm officially going crazy!
Blair: I could have told you that ages ago.
Me: Ha, ha. No, really. Is there a contact in here? (Extends contact case.)
Blair: (Silently inspects) No.
Me: Arrrggg!! Where could it be???
Blair: Possibly in....here? (opens other side of contact case)
Me: You're a genius!! Wait! How am I going to tell them apart? They're both different prescriptions!
Blair: Try them both in each eye?
Me: Actually, there's no need to go to that trouble. The right one is torn, so all I have to do is look for the one missing a chunk.
Blair: Um...How long have you been wearing those?
Me: Longer than three weeks.
Later that day
Blair: Did you get your contacts figured out?
Me: Well, either both of them are now torn, or I've been wearing them in the wrong eyes for about four months...which actually would explain why I haven't been able to see anything.